[Anyone] A Day in the life of Joe Republican

[anubis at laplaza.org]

This was quite funny - and true - until the end. The Confused Writer is far too harsh (and suicidally 
cavalier) as to the choice of Dems and then really leaves the tracks with his/her inane assessment of 
Romney, followed by a final suggestion that Nader might be a reliable choice - revealing utter an 
loss of judgment or an utter disdain for the politics of the moment. But why the "liberal" message? - 
Clearly disingenuous, it seems to me, but then what is the message? Vote for....?

 
Thos Myers <totem at laplaza.org> said:

> Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
> By John Gray Cincinnati, Ohio (with additions by Stewart)
> Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full
> of good, clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum
> water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first
> swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal
> fought to insure their safety and to work as advertised.
> All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers medical
> plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
> medical insurance. Now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast;
> bacon and eggs this day. Joes bacon is safe to eat because some liberal
> fought for laws to regulate the meat-packing industry.
> Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is
> properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents
> because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on
> his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a
> deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree- hugging
> liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He
> walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work; it
> saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see,
> some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives
> everyone the opportunity to be a contributor to society.
> Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medicals
> benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal
> union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer
> pays for these benefits because Joes employer doesnt want his employees to
> call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed hell get a
> worker compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didnt think
> he should loose his home because of his on-the-job misfortune.
> Its noontime, Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills.
> Joes deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted
> to protect Joes money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking
> system before the depression.
> When Joe drives in his driveway at his beautiful suburban home, he is
> grateful for the quality construction and affordability of his "castle".
> He had temporarily forgotten that it had been built using immigrant labor,
> allowing his contractor to pocket several thousand dollars more profit on
> each house he built. His Republican friends at the country club didnt seem
> to be too concerned about it.
> Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below-market
> federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the
> government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money
> over his lifetime.
> On Saturday, Joe plans to visit his father at his farm home in the
> country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the
> safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards.
> He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the
> house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didnt want
> to make rural loans. The house didnt have electric until some big
> government liberal stuck his nose where it didnt belong and demanded rural
> electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still be sitting in the
> dark)
> He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social
> Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could
> take care of himself after retirement so Joe wouldnt have to. After his
> visit with dad, he gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a
> radio talk show, the hosts keeps saying that liberals are bad and
> conservatives are good. (He doesnt tell Joe that his beloved Republicans
> have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his
> day)  Joe agrees, "We dont need those big government liberals ruining our
> lives; after all, Im a self made man who believes everyone should take
> care of themselves, just like I have".
> That evening he goes out to dinner at his fine neighborhood restaurant
> where immigrants who know how to cook his food and serve it in the most
> professional manner tastefully prepare his meal. This very restaurant
> nearly closed three years ago because he proprietor couldnt find willing
> and competent employees among the "local population". (He wouldnt let them
> play their video games during work hours.)  After dessert the owner came
> over to Joes table to chat. When Joe asked him about his "illegals", the
> owner replied that several of them had hired an immigration attorney to
> help them obtain legal status and were told that it could take up to 15
> years and thousands of dollars to acquire citizenship. In the mean time,
> they would have to return to their home country. Joe hadnt heard anything
> about this on Rush and Lou Dobbs. Oh well, he knows the food was good and
> safe to eat because some liberal insisted on food safety standards rather
> than leaving it up to the "free-marketers".
> 
> The Presidential Elections are coming up soon and Joe isnt sure what to
> do. He cant vote for a woman or a Black, so that leaves out the Democrats.
> Among the Republicans, Mitt is a Mormon and Joe was always taught that
> Mormonism was a cult. McCain is from a border state and purports to
> understand more about the immigration issue than his challengers! Gosh!
> Joe turns on the TV and hears that Ralph Nader is considering a run! Oh
> yeah! Thats the guy who turned the American auto industry on its ear and
> made them install safety-belts! Holy Hell!! Whats a red-blooded American
> to do?
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