[Anyone] Political Humor

[Thos Myers]

Jay Leno:   "The U.S. Senate held an all-night session last night to try and gain the votes needed to begin troop withdrawal from Iraq. They lost. They stayed in the Senate chambers all night long, some of them sleeping on cots. In fact, Hillary stayed up so late, she actually saw Bill sneaking in."

Jay Leno:   "A report card on Iraq shows progress in only 8 of 18 areas. ... And, of course, President Bush is thrilled. That's the best report card he ever got in his life."

Jay Leno:   "Fox News is now reporting there are people in the CIA who are working against President Bush's policy by using incompetence. Yeah. So, apparently, they're fighting fire with fire."

Jay Leno:   "Well, John McCain has a new campaign slogan – 'an army of one.'"

David Letterman:   "Last night down in Washington they had the all-night Senate session. ... It was the D.C. Madam's slowest night ever."

David Letterman:   "Republicans were saying that" if we "pull out the troops now," in 120 days it "would lead to chaos in Iraq. And I'm thinking, hell, chaos would be an improvement. Let's try that."