[Anyone] Think

[Mike in Taos]

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then 
-- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than 
just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't 
true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was 
thinking all the time.


That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV 
and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her 
mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, 
but I couldn't help myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, 
Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, 
asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me 
to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop 
thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation 
with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"



"But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower 
lip aquiver.


"You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make 
any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal 
with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the 
parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that 
night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster 
caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers 
Anonymous poster.

This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; 
last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided 
thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to 
recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I took the final step...I joined the Democratic Party and moved to 
Taos.

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