[Anyone] this just in

[Thos Myers]

>
> Subject: Bush losing support of TFMs
>
>
> BUSH LOSING TFMs
> WASHINGTON, Aug.5:  President Bush appears to be losing support among
> a key group of voters who had hitherto stood firmly with the president
> even as his poll numbers among other groups fell dramatically.
>
> A new Gallup poll shows that, for the first time, Bush's approval rating
> has fallen below 50% among total f*cking morons, and now stands at 44%.
> This represents a dramatic drop compared to a poll taken just last
> December, when 62% of total f*cking morons expressed support for the
> president and his policies.
>
> The current poll, conducted by phone with 1,409 total f*cking morons
> between July 24 and July 28, reveals that only 44% of those polled
> believe the president is doing a good job, while 27% believe he is doing
> a poor job and 29% don't understand the question. The December poll,
> conducted by phone with 1,530 total f*cking morons, showed that 62%
> approved of the president, 7% disapproved and 31% didn't understand the
> question.
>
> Faltering approval ratings for the president among a group once thought
> to be a reliable source of loyal support gives Republicans one more
> reason to be nervous about the upcoming mid-term elections. "If we can't
> depend on the support of total f*cking morons," says Sen. Rick Santorum
> (R-PA),"then we've got a big problem. They're a key factor in our
> electoral strategy, and an important part of today's Republican
> coalition."
>
> "We've taken the total f*cking moron vote for granted," says Rep. Tom
> Feeney (R-FL), "and now we're paying for it. We've let the Democrats
> control the debate lately, and they've dragged discourse back into the
> realm of complex, nuanced issues. So your average total f*cking moron
> turns on his TV and sees his Republican Congressman arguing about
> Constitutional law or the complexities of nation building in the Middle
> East, and he tunes out. He wants to hear comforting, pandering,
> flattering bromides and he doesn't want to hear a logical argument more
> complex than what you'd find on a bumper sticker."
>
> For Feeney, the poll is a dire warning that Republicans can ignore only
> at their peril. "This should send a signal that we have to regain
> control of the debate if we want the support of our key constituencies
> in the coming election and beyond. We need to bring public discourse
> back into the realm of stupidity and vacuity. We should be talking about
> homosexual illegal immigrants burning flags. We should be talking about
> the power of pride. We should be talking about freedom fries. These are
> the issues that resonate with total fucking morons."
>
> But some total f*cking morons say it's too late. Bill Snarpel of Enid,
> Oklahoma is a total f*cking moron who voted for Bush in both 2000 and
> 2004. But he says he won't be voting for Bush in 2008. "I don't like it
> that he was going to sell our ports to the Arabs. If the Arabs own the
> ports then that means they'll let all the Arabs in and then we'll all be
> riding camels and wearing towels on our heads. I don't want my children
> singing the Star Spangled Banner in Muslim."
> Total f*cking moron Kurt Mick of Turlock, California also says his once
> solid support for Bush has collapsed. "He invaded Iraq and all those
> soldiers died, and for what? We destroyed all their WMDs, but now their
> new president is making fun of us and saying he's going to build nuclear
> bombs and that we can't stop him. Well, nuclear bombs are even worse
> than WMDs, so what did we accomplish?"
>
> Laura McDonald, a total f*cking moron from Chandler, Arizona, says she
> is disappointed that the president hasn't been a more forceful advocate
> of Christian values. "This country was founded on Christian values," she>
> says, "but you'd never know it looking around and seeing all the
> Mexicans running around. I thought Bush was going to bring Jesus back
> into the government. Instead, Christians are being persecuted worse than
> ever before in history, because all these Mexicans come here and tell
> Christians that we have to respect their religious beliefs. So now it's
> illegal for children to pray in school. Soon it will be illegal for them
> to speak English."
>
> Not all total f*cking morons have turned their backs on the president.
> Jeb Larkin of Topeka, Kansas says he still fully supports Bush. "He is
> doing a great job. He is a great president. He is a great decider. I
> have a puppynamed GW. His tail sticks straight up and you can see his
>butt hole."
> And not all Republican lawmakers are concerned about the poll. Sen.
> Lamar Alexander (R-TN), for one, does not find it a cause for anxiety.
> While he agrees that his party should not take total f*cking morons for
> granted, "they really don't have anywhere else to go. They're never
> going to be able to understand someone like Al Gore or John Kerry or
> anybody intelligent and articulate who wants to talk about substantive
> issues. Just try having a conversation with one of them about global
> warming. They'll say, "Oh, but Rush says volcanoes consume more ozone
> than humans do." I mean, they're morons! Total f*cking morons!"
>
> "They've got nowhere else to go," Alexander reaffirms with a smile, "and
> they always vote."
> --